Category Archives: editorial

Safe on the Side-hills of Success

Above image, courtesy of: www.wallpaperfo.com_63.jpg

“A crooked legged man walks best on the side-hills of success.”

This quote is puzzling. It nags at me, begging for my attention like a pesky dog wanting me to throw a ball.   So I’ve decided to toss it out  and fetch it’s meaning—for me. If it intrigues you,  please do join me to wonder over it.
I think that the term “crooked legged” refers, not to anatomy, but to some flaw in thinking that hinders fulfillment of my goals.  Ironically, I have been afraid of heights all of my life and have tried to overcome this fear, climbing and crossing over high places. That must be why the above “wise-ism” intrigues me. “Crooked-legged” is a metaphor for the fear that plagues me, and side-hills would then symbolize the safe, attainable and familiar.
Don’t we all want to be successful (whatever that means) in our endeavors?   I write and paint, always trying to catch onto, constantly hoping to  capture, some lovely thing that probably I can’t quite get hold of. Spirit perhaps? Yes, I am  safe and comfortable on the side-hills of success, looking up. But I force myself to climb higher  into unfamiliar territory. Reaching the top of the mountain could just expose my flaw (like the idea of being crooked legged) as an excuse I have conjured up. A shadow across my path upward. And then what?……..

“If you’re not living on the edge, you’re taking up too much space.”

Presently, I am trying to master two difficult things: 1. I want to narrate my own audiobook.  2. I seek to tame an aggressive dog. I am technologically challenged, but must learn to use recording and editing equipment if I am to do an audiobook, and I am afraid I can’t figure out the jargon. The dog? Her name is Karma. She scares me. There is the rub. I have to go in the direction of my fear. If that isn’t crooked-legged thinking, what is? “Karma.” Hmmmmm. I wonder how this rescued dog earned such a name!
So, I accept the idea that “crooked legged” means, for me, fear of excellence. I am tempted to stay with what I can already do. But, I want to take what talent I have, to higher levels and explore new territory. An audiobook? Well, I have read the manual on my recorder and set up a make-shift studio. Now, I have to hit the red “record” button and try out the microphone. And I must learn to modulate and sing my words so they make a melody of my stories.
Karma
And the dog? She waits outside my door. It will take all my strength and love of the wild to master this exquisite beast. Mastery. Never complete mastery. No. For me, success resides on the mountain top of partnering with the wild in the other. But my “downfall” is contained in another “wise-ism” by an unknown author:

“The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.”


While I chip away at the rock of editing and revising Epiphany, please consider downloading The Way Back from any e-book store, written by S.K. Carnes, me. Here is a review:
“The Way Back: A Soldier’s Journey has something to please any reader – romance, history, adventure, drama, poetry, a quietly epic feel, a magnificently rendered landscape, and eclectic characters unlike any of the ‘ho-hum’ heroes of lesser fiction. Having once entered John Chapman’s world, readers will want to linger, holding close one of the most pure-of-heart and earnestly crafted narratives in recent memory.” —Writers Digest
Order the Historical Novel by S.K. Carnes,  The Way Back, recently released in all e-book stores.

 

Metaphors and Layers

Above image from:  http://www.themeshack.net/2010downloads/201001/0110/irene/blowingbubbleswp.jpg

The Audacity of Expression

The onion has many layers on the way to the juicy white heart of the thing. I heard that heaven had seven stories (give or take a few). Multilayering is found in  relationships, a piece of writing, dressing for the cold, meditation, and the metaphor. An oil painting done by a master will have layers of paint rich with colors shining through each other making for translucent opulence. Indeed, if a single flat color is set next to such layering, it might look unfinished but for the shimmer of the paper through it like a hole in a silk stocking. Pulsing. Vital. When one reads a love poem like “How Do I Love Thee” by Elizabeth Barrett Browning, http://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/how-do-i-love-thee-sonnet-43 we discover the layers again. Each layer is important to the overall effect. Even words themselves carry multiple meanings as a dictionary can prove. Rich writing can be appreciated on different levels. An example is The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupéry. http://www.angelfire.com/hi/littleprince/frames.html
Life is layered. We can go deeper and deeper into the physical thing, and into the conceptual realm, digging for—digging for—what. Meaning? The essence? Reality beneath illusion? Something solid to have or believe in? And consider the metaphor, the meaning will be on several levels. Is life itself a metaphor?
And so I wrote a poem about my writing/digging/painting. It is a metaphor about the audacity of putting one’s self out there in the hope that, for a precious moment, we can catch a ride on the ebullience that transcends layers. I will remember along with Chief Seattle, that “All things share the same breath.”

Hitchhiking

I am blowing bubbles,
irridescent, and transparent,
trusting the air
to float them up
Rounded moonbeams,
rainbows spinning,
bursting, falling
I try again.
For like the Century Plant,
blooming before it dies,
It is the way for fools like me,
To hitchhike  on a breeze.
But see,
my bubbles catch the light.
That’s my breath
up there
trying to reach beyond myself.
 
All the way


While I chip away at the rock of editing and revising Epiphany, please consider downloading The Way Back from any e-book store, written by S.K. Carnes, me. Here is a review:
“The Way Back: A Soldier’s Journey has something to please any reader – romance, history, adventure, drama, poetry, a quietly epic feel, a magnificently rendered landscape, and eclectic characters unlike any of the ‘ho-hum’ heroes of lesser fiction. Having once entered John Chapman’s world, readers will want to linger, holding close one of the most pure-of-heart and earnestly crafted narratives in recent memory.” —Writers Digest
Order the Historical Novel by S.K. Carnes,  The Way Back, recently released in all e-book stores.

Follow The River Out: A Metaphor

Above Image: courtesy of Mark Chadwick on Flickr.

Have you ever been lost and “followed a river out?”
My new novel, Epiphany  is being edited at present, and will be published later this year.  This post is one of several about themes, metaphors, and story structure. Lori our protagonist,  writes poetry filled with metaphors, to bring clarity to her life. What follows is an excerpt using the “Western Star” and “the river” as a metaphor.
Lori has interviewed for a job as a school counselor in the Oregon Cascades. As she waits, hoping to be hired, she writes a poem about leaving Wisconsin and driving West.  The trip, just before Christmas was terrifying. She remembers how frightened she was.
Too heavy my load
Of doubt and disgrace
Too late for me
Fear lines my face
I am a wave
Without a tide
Dust in the wind
Hitching a ride
I sail the seas
Without a tac
Can’t find the wind
That takes me back
Lori had wanted to turn around.  The face of the blizzard at her heels scared her less than going forward into the unknown.  But then her car and trailer spins full circle out of control on Montana black ice.  Panic. The reality is, she can’t go back.
I CAN’T GO BACK
There’s no way back
There’s no home base
I’m out of time
I’m out of place
Lost in the dark!
Which way to run?
Where is my map?
Where is my sun?
How will I live?
Without a man?
Lean on myself?
Make my own plan?
A teamster drives his big Western Star truck up alongside and leans out to congratulate Lori on surviving. “Santa put Lady Luck in yer sock.”
She drives on to Eugene, Oregon, where she walks along the Willamette River, listening to the music of the river and making friends of like-minded strangers. Lori knows she has been granted a second chance at life.
If Lori is hired, she can build this new life in Lucky Strike, Oregon. Her dream is happening. She goes to sit by the river, letting the restorative water wash away her fear of moving on. She thinks about what her father had told her, “when lost, follow the river out.”The last two stanzas of her poem reflect the role of a river as a metaphor for finding her way.
Across the prairies
Ore mountains-crest
Follow the river
On her sea quest
The pioneer spirit
Like Oregon’s rain
Refreshes my courage
To start over again


While I chip away at the rock of editing and revising Epiphany, please consider downloading The Way Back from any e-book store, written by S.K. Carnes, me. Here is a review:
“The Way Back: A Soldier’s Journey has something to please any reader – romance, history, adventure, drama, poetry, a quietly epic feel, a magnificently rendered landscape, and eclectic characters unlike any of the ‘ho-hum’ heroes of lesser fiction. Having once entered John Chapman’s world, readers will want to linger, holding close one of the most pure-of-heart and earnestly crafted narratives in recent memory.” —Writers Digest
Order the Historical Novel by S.K. Carnes,  The Way Back, recently released in all e-book stores.

Invictus: An Epiphany For Holy Week

Photo by Mega Mike  https://www.flickr.com/photos/topick/6342953521

INVICTUS

I am the Master of my fate. I am the Captain of my Soul.”

An unconquerable soul! Now there’s a theme especially appropriate for Easter time! In my new book  Epiphany, (presently being edited) Lori our protagonist, struggles with this larger than life concept. And, in the light of forgiveness, she glimpses the meaning. Sometimes that moment when it all makes sense passes us by, but we remember that it is there—waiting for us to be ready to know it. And so, Lori, obedient to my writing, prints out a card:  I am the Master of my fate. “I am the Captain of my Soul.” and keeps it with her.
Consider this: she has printed out the last two lines, but there is more to this poem and a story about the Author, William Ernest Henley.  At age 12, Henley had a leg amputated just below the knee due to arthritic tuberculosis and his other foot barely saved by surgeries. He lost his father as a teenager.  And so, his poem begins:
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Before he knew his real strength, he had been brought down and severely tested. The façade we all live behind, trying to protect our weakness, was broken by the “bludgeonings of chance.” This same sort of thing has happened to many of our great spiritual teachers. Shamans and healers often have suffered near-death experiences before they find their power. Notice the dreaded tarot card the Tower depicting this soul level journey.
tower
It is useful to remember that the Tarot is divided into Major Arcana (the journey of the soul) and Minor Arcana (the drama of the embodied).
The horrific happenings in Henley’s life gave him the experience to  write about his own unconquerable soul, found at the depth of his pain.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.
Like the captain of a ship is responsible for his decisions: the course he charts, the skills he learns and uses, he must also surrender to the mood of the ocean, the tides, the storms and catastrophes that befall him. But can these things destroy him? Henley says no.
If I were to distill all I have experienced, thought, and written, into a single sentence, the last two lines of Invictus would be it. Indeed, my character Lori keeps these words with her. Yes, the experience that spurred Henley to write this poem is profound, and is still beyond my grasp except as a glimpse. I can thank my own suffering of wrath and tears for this illusive epiphany.  But, I shrink and shiver at the idea of Christ’s crucifixion to rise again. Maybe at the end of days for me,  I can wrap my mind around it. Let it flow through me to hold it tight to me. Ah—the paradox we call life.


While I chip away at the rock of editing and revising Epiphany, please consider downloading The Way Back from any e-book store, written by S.K. Carnes, me. Here is a review:
“The Way Back: A Soldier’s Journey has something to please any reader – romance, history, adventure, drama, poetry, a quietly epic feel, a magnificently rendered landscape, and eclectic characters unlike any of the ‘ho-hum’ heroes of lesser fiction. Having once entered John Chapman’s world, readers will want to linger, holding close one of the most pure-of-heart and earnestly crafted narratives in recent memory.” —Writers Digest
Order the Historical Novel by S.K. Carnes,  The Way Back, recently released in all e-book stores.

When the Student is Ready, the Teacher Appears

I have written Epiphany all the way through, and am currently editing and polishing it. It is easy to see themes in this novel. “Kiss Yourself Goodbye,” is the first line. Certainly the very word “goodbye” elicits visions of letting go and moving on.
Often in my life, I have gotten lessons dealt to me when I most needed them.  Sometimes, my teacher is an image. In the following excerpt,  Lori, the protagonist in my story, choses an archetype from the teachings of Tarot, the Queen of Wands that symbolizes the qualities and strengths she needs to go forward. Notice the pictures on these cards and follow her thinking as she recognizes her own creativity, and begins to use it to inspire her students to use their talents.

the-four-queenshttps://mjhernandeztarot.wordpress.com/2011/11/11/of-empires-and-kingdoms-part-/

Lori looked at what had once been her first choice, the Queen of Cups.  Solitary. Reigning from  a throne embellished by shells, she seemed almost transparent, for  her face was reflective as the sea at her feet, and she gazed with expectation at the golden cup she held, enchanted by its sweet potion. Lori did not wish to drink from her chalice of love. Not today. The aloof Queen of Swords, her blade cutting the air as she coldly contemplated truth did not tempt Lori,  and not even the splendidly adorned Queen of Pentacles, luxuriating in the riches of the earth, interested her. Indeed, having tasted abundantly of the elements of  water, air and the good earth—Lori looked to the fourth queen-the Queen of Wands and the element of fire. She faced forward to the ready, opposing lions of  fire and strength guarded the sides of her throne, and she held sunflowers. Sunflowers bloomed all around her. Why even the wand was coming into bloom.  And the black cat at her feet mirrored magic! “Today,” Lori said, ” This queen is my symbol. The sunflowers, vibrant with the colors of fall, are the harvest I have planted. It is time to shine.


Order the Historical Novel by S.K. Carnes,  The Way Back, recently released in all e-book stores.

 

You Teach Best What You Most Need To Learn

How satisfying to help youth dodge some of the obstacles that block the way forward.  And with every triumph, the teacher takes heart. It is a vicarious blooming that happens, a win-win for everyone fueled by the teacher’s need to get it right, and the student’s need for clear headed guidance. But the teacher is drawn to a subject of interest to both of them.  Let me illustrate my point:
Jenny wants to ski the big hill, but is stuck on the bunny slope until she can ski safely, and not be a hazard to others. Lori (our protagonist) never had mastered this skill, but now, working with the Special Olympics, she must teach this child with Downs Syndrome how to ski in control, and in doing so, she learns the very thing she most needs for her own freedom on the slopes. Funny how fate works isn’t it? It is like someone is up there pulling our strings so that we get to overcome shortcomings. Here is an excerpt from Epiphany that tells about the moment it all makes sense:
Lori smiled, remembering Jenny’s face, her pink cheeks wet with melting snow, her wide set blue eyes dancing with insight as she looked at the skiers traversing the slope and said “Oh- Oh I SEE.” It was an epiphany.  Being able to turn and stop meant freedom on the slopes!
Perhaps that is why Lori has become a school counselor helping Elementary School children overcome fear. Could it be that is what she most needs to learn? Have you experienced this phenomena in your own lives? Please comment.


Order the Historical Novel by S.K. Carnes,  The Way Back, recently released in all e-book stores.

 

The Law of the Universe

“Take What You Want And Pay For It.”

I don’t remember where I first heard this idea, but it was a game changer. When I wrote Epiphany (presently being revised) I realized how much my protagonist, Lori Moyer, believed this phrase. It really says it all and I count it as a major theme for Epiphany. To show the way the Law can work, I made the below image a subtitle for the book.  Here it is fresh out of Photoshop:
BylineStarting over in the West, leaving almost everything and everyone behind, Lori paid dearly. This book is a mixture of humor and angst as she comes to understand the ramifications of the bargain she made. It wasn’t pretty. She had to come to terms with illusion and reality, with who she was, and who she was becoming. What an adventure! Following the Law, she came to realize that payments were not just financial, but emotional, physical and spiritual as well. And so was the path taken, lighted by the notion that she was in charge of her own life. Adopting that understanding can be terrifying. Watch for another theme for my newest book .


Order the Historical Novel by S.K. Carnes,  The Way Back, recently released in all e-book stores.

Chronic Guilt: Theme

The above image from www.idealist4ever.com

Novel Revision

The first draft of Epiphany is done, and now I am attempting my revision. I wrote Epiphany for me, and it was great fun to write. I laughed and cried allot writing this book. Truly, it showed me the “Epiphany” that freed me, informed me, and sent me off to proceed with my life. But this time, as I go through revising it, I am writing for you, the reader. Hopefully, I will succeed and make this book  both entertaining and meaningful.
Of course, I am identifying some themes in this book. I spent 6 years counseling in a Chronic Pain Center and learned some fantastically useful ideas. This first idea, well, here it is in a poem I spun off this morning. Maybe this is not a great poem, but it gives the jist of one theme I identified in Epiphany. Writing in prose,  guilt is going to be present with choices that break or bend family rules. I don’t mean that the old familial rules are wrong.  But as circumstances change and time passes, rules change too. Of course I am not talking about killing someone or breaking the rules of  society in a radical way like that. But the guilt involved in finding one’s own truth should not go on forever. And if it does, well there is a lie in there somewhere.  It is the same with chronic pain if there is no physical cause.
This poem hints at the theme for my next blog.  Watch for it. And please comment if you have experienced chronic guilt, or succeeded in disarming it.

Chronic Guilt

You must, you should, you have to do
Believe and be and stick like glue
To family ways, the family tree
Tall and clean
Straight and green
You belong to us and not to you.
If you should stray, don’t show your face
We wont allow you to disgrace
Or bring us shame
Our name defame
Or you’ll be banished from this place
When reasons needing rules has passed
Still ball and chain of guilt holds fast
Release the tie
Disarm the lie
Free yourself to learn at last
Create yourself! What lines what hue?
What space defines? Yes think anew!
Be unique
Learn what you seek
And most of all, love your –  you.
It doesn’t happen in a day
Try to learn what you have to say
Art will free
You and me
When you’re all wrong, try another way.
The path you take exacts a price
Pick your road and don’t pay twice
No excuse
To not cut loose
Pay the toll and roll the dice


Order the Historical Novel by S.K. Carnes,  The Way Back, recently released in all e-book stores.

The Body Knows

 Find the above image at: http://www.arcticphoto.co.uk/gallery2/antarctic/antland/ant0501-07.htm

Many of us respond with feelings to an experience and don’t know why. It is OK to think about our feelings of course. In fact, poetry has been defined as just that—thinking about feelings.
It is a big concept, one that I had explained to me when I worked in a chronic pain center, that the only place to feel is in the body. That means that it is a life partner. Hmmm. It also means that certain parts of the body may jog memories of experiences. Hmmm. It also means that the body has a mind of it’s own. Hmmmm.
Any of the above thoughts could confound a regular person. But, one could think of it like an onion—a metaphor for how it all works.
In most countries where the temperature drops, it is important to dress in layers–like the onion. You and me-well we would be like the tender white inner core. But those layers carry the identity of that onion. The outside is what we see until we dig deeper and unpeel.
I always cry at a horse race. Why? Certainly it is not out of sadness, or even out of joy, but maybe because I relate to the experience of one-ness with that animal, and also the idea of greatness beyond bounds. Do you ever shed a tear over an Olympic performance? Is it because the boundaries are broken and the inner core shines through? Maybe. At the end of a yoga session, our teacher/guide says “Namaste.” That means the light in me sees the light in you. Now that is worth a tear isn’t it. The body answers the thought. Or is it the other way around? Hmmm.

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Order the Historical Novel by S.K. Carnes,  The Way Back,

recently released in all e-book stores.

Cast of Characters for EPIPHANY, my third book

Meet our protagonist, Lori Moyer

Lori’s Poem

I hear the whistle calling thru the fog of fear— calling my name. Casey Jones at the throttle,
The City of New Orleans? The Rock Island Line?
I feel the earth reverberating to the beat—the pulse of freedom.
Like a lady, her fingers entwined in the ruffles of her red skirt, teasing.  Showing just a glimpse of skin, twirling, whirling, spinning out my longing, calling me.

Gathering steam now, all aboard now, breaking out now.

Like the wind billowing out the sail
Like prancing horses, eyes crazy-wild
Like a sizzling spark in shredded paper
Like a skier exploding off a jump
Like a kayak shooting a cataract
Yes, I must seize the moment
Weigh the anchor and cast off the line,
Catch the current,
Ride the wave, the train,
Soar on the wings of my dream
To breach this curtain of illusion
And watch fear dissipate into droplets
That vanish in the sun.
_________________________________________________________________________

What a fool Lori is! I see her now as the wild card (zero in number) of the Taro deck, the innocent believer stepping boldly off the cliff wearing her golden slippers, jumping head-long into an Oregon odyssey. And my dear reader, please comment should you have plunged forward into the unknown, and done so  with abandon!
Who will she meet to inspire, challenge, love and teach her the lessons she needs to learn in her new western life? Next week, I will introduce you to another character in the book I am writing. His promise to our little heroine would tempt any fool such as Lori. See you next week to meet Mr. Oregon himself.
 

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Order the Historical Novel by S.K. Carnes,  The Way Back,
recently released in all e-book stores.

cover of The Way Back       
New novel: The Way Back. To find it on Amazon, go to http://bit.ly/SoldiersJourney

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